Colossians: Forgive Like Colossae
Elder Michael Villalobos preaches about forgiveness and growth in the early church from Colossians 4:7–18. Discussion points: Many of the people Paul mentions at the end of the letter appear in other places in the New Testament, Paul reminds his readers that faithfulness has a cost, forgiveness is necessary to the Christian life and is empowered by Christ.
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Scripture reader: [Colossians 4:7–18] Tychicus will tell you about my activities. He is a beloved brother and faithful minister and fellow servant in the Lord. I have sent him to you for this very purpose, that you may know how we are and that he may encourage your hearts. And with him, Onesimus, our faithful and beloved brother who is one of you. They will tell you of everything that has taken place here.
Aristarchus, my fellow prisoner, greets you. And Mark, the cousin of Barnabas, concerning whom you have received instructions, if he comes to you, welcome him, and Jesus, who is called Justus. These are the only men of the circumcision among my fellow workers for the kingdom of God, and they have been a comfort to me.
Epaphras, who is one of you, a servant of Christ Jesus, greets you, always struggling on your behalf in his prayers, that you may stand mature and fully assured in all the will of God. For I bear him witness that he has worked hard for you and for those in Laodicea and in Heropolis. Luke, the beloved physician, greets you, as does Demas. Give my greetings to the brothers at Laodicea and to Nympha and the church in her house.
And when this letter has been read among you, have it also read in the church of the Laodiceans and see that you also read the letter from Laodicea. And say to Archippus, see that you fulfill the ministry that you have received in the Lord. I, Paul, write this greeting with my own hand. Remember my chains, grace be with you.
This is the word of the Lord. Thanks be to God.
Preacher: Hi, my name is Michael. It's, it's great to be here with you this morning. to tell you a little bit about myself, I grew up homeschooled along with my 5 siblings. To say that my mom had a lot going on would be a bit of an understatement. So most of the days, for those of you who weren't homeschooled, looks like filling out a worksheet with, mainly like a bunch of blanks on like what, what's this number, what's that number. History though involved just reading a textbook, a chapter out of a textbook with, you know, a bunch of names and people who did this and that. It was not, despite what you may have heard, just rereading the creation account in Genesis. I know there's some of you out here who are uninitiated.
But, history was not my favorite subject. In fact, I don't remember exactly how I was tested, but I somehow passed despite skimming speed reading or skipping the subject entirely, because I, I really didn't enjoy history very much at all. I'm not gonna raise, make you raise your hand if you're in the same boat as me, but if you are, you're in good company. Thankfully, however, the Lord's not done with me yet. I, I haven't begun my era of World War II podcasts and that sort of thing that I believe is coming for me at some point.
But I, I do have a greater appreciation for history and the names that, that built things over time. When I was first assigned this passage, I initially recoiled right back to that place where I was like, man, just a bunch of names. I don't wanna talk about this. But the Lord has shown me so much in this passage, so much richness that I actually had to cut a lot out in order to have some sort of an organized message for you this morning. And I'm excited to get into what the Lord has for us today. In particular, to highlight for you, what I think would have been some real pearl clutching going on in the room when this was originally read.
So, and also to just orient you, I'm bringing up the caboose of Colossians today, and then Fletcher is going to come back for a few other passages that we left for him, over the course of the coming weeks, because there's a couple other pockets that we're gonna get into, so we're gonna have a little bit of a menageries, if you will. So in these greetings and final instructions we have a ton going on because of all of these names that are mentioned. And each of them was a real person who lived an entire life, both before this book was written and then after, right? And so we're getting this little window into what was going on in the church at that time, and I'm hoping that we're gonna be able to expand that a little bit and see a little bit of about what God was doing before, during, and after this was written.
But before we do that, we're gonna go through a quick tour of the room, just read through the passage, and then dig into stories of, of two of the men in particular here, Onesimus and Mark, because I think that's really what the Lord has for us this morning. So, starting with verses 7 and 8. Tychicus will tell you all about my activities. He's a beloved brother and faithful minister and fellow servant in the Lord. I have sent him to you for this very purpose, that you may know how we are, and that he may encourage your hearts.
So meet our mailman, Tychicus, right? He's the reason this letter is in anyone's hands. The guy who carried it all the way from Rome, likely with Ephesians and Philemon tucked under the same arm. Paul calls him a beloved and faithful minister, and his whole assignment is to just show up, tell them how Paul is doing, and encourage them with the beauty of the fact that even prison can't keep Paul down and is not going to stop the message of the gospel going forward. We see in him the importance of just showing up and reading the good news.
Verse 9, and with him Onesimus, our faithful and beloved brother, who is one of you. They will tell you of everything that has taken place here. So here we have Onesimus. We're gonna hold on to that name because we're gonna come back to him and talk about him later. We're coming back to him because his story actually gets its own book called Philemon. I didn't know this beforehand. I'm a terrible Bible student. But Philemon is actually really all about Onesimus, and we're gonna be drawing a lot from that as we unpack what's going on here.
Up next, verse 10. Aristarchus, my fellow prisoner, greets you, and Mark, the cousin of Barnabas, concerning whom you've received instructions. If he comes to you, welcome him. So two names here. First, we have Aristarchus, who receives the title My Fellow Prisoner. We hear about him in Acts where we learn that he was, he traveled with Paul and his ministry and then was caught up by a mob in Ephesus and, you know, captured on Paul's behalf and that wasn't great but apparently he's a bit of a glutton for punishment and he continued on to join Paul during his house arrest in Rome, and so when it says that he's with Paul, it means he's literally, willingly going into house arrest with Paul, hanging out with his weird armored friends, and continuing to support him in his ministry of writing these letters and encouraging him and praying with him. So we see in Aristarchus a beautiful loyalty, where even though his faith has been tested, and even though he's been actively persecuted, he still continues to choose the gospel.
And then we have Mark, who we're also going to dig into a little bit later, but hold on to that name as well. It's a little bit hard to remember. Mark, alright? Also called John, called Mark, also called John Mark. So if you're ever looking up his story in the rest of the Bible, sometimes you'll see him just referred to as some of those names, so two names are funny.
Anyway, moving on, verse 11. And Jesus who is called Justus. These are the only of the circumcision among my fellow workers for the kingdom of God, and they have been a comfort to me. Now Jesus, that's a name you've probably never heard preached before in a sermon, I'd imagine. But this is really the only time that we see Jesus called Justus's name show up. His whole biblical resume is right here in this one verse. We don't have any more detail on him, but we do know that he was a comfort to Paul as one of the few of the, of his tribe who chose exile and rejection from the rest of his kinsmen in order to pursue the cost of Christ.
Paul says earlier in Colossians in chapter 3 verse 11, that there is no Greek or Jew, barbarian or Scythian, etc. in Christ. He's not saying that your background evaporates when you become a believer. You know, a Jew is still a Jew and a Greek is still a Greek, but what passes away is that wall between us, and in particular, the ranking or the idea that one is closer to God than another. And that's why he can turn around here and thank these men for being of his tribe and being with him in Christ. It's because they, they have the same jokes, they know the same references, and we see that even here, you know, where we, we don't say that in Christ our differences are dissolved. In fact, one of our values at our church is being a multi-ethnic church, but we recognize that what supersedes our identity and our ethnicity is, is Christ. But we can still appreciate each other. So anyway, I, I think that's what Paul is doing here is he's highlighting the encouragement that these other men have by saying that they also would give up the same thing that Paul has given up to pursue the cost of Christ.
Let's continue, verses 12 to 13. Epaphrus, who is one of you, a servant of Christ Jesus, greets you, always struggling on your behalf in his prayers, that you may stand mature and fully assured in all the will of God, for I bear him witness that he has worked hard for you and for those in Laodicea and Heropolis. Epaphras is the man from Colossae who planted this church. And then left it about 5 years later to support Paul in prison. This word struggling for you, the, the main definition of this Greek word is to contend in the gymnastic games, and it's the same root word for where we get the word agony. When I, when I read this verse, I think about a, a gymnast, you know, holding the iron cross. I don't do enough preacher curls, so this doesn't look that good, but. He's, he's straining and wrestling and contending in the spirit for his friends and his neighbors who he left behind in Colossae, earnestly praying that they would become like Christ.
I love this example that he, he gives of contending for them, and this church is what we as elders do for you. We get together, we pray for you, we pray for you on a daily basis. if you're a member here, you may have gotten texts from us saying that we're praying for you, and that is what we endeavor to do is to pray that you would grow up and be mature in your faith, to be oaks of righteousness. I think about the way that this is written in Isaiah 61. To grant to those who mourn in Zion, to give them a beautiful headdress instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, the garment of praise instead of a faint spirit, they may be called oaks of righteousness, the planting of the Lord, that he may be glorified. This was, I think, Epaphras's prayer for the people in Colossae, that they would glorify the Lord as they are steadfast in him. And this too is our prayer for you.
Next we move on to Luke in verse 14, and Demas. Luke, the beloved physician, greets you, as does Demas. So this is the same Luke who wrote the gospel account and the whole book of Acts, and someone who's considered dear by Paul and likely many of the other believers in the area, as he had to document a lot and likely interviewed a great number of people, so he's pretty well known. Interestingly, he and Demas are both mentioned, about 5 years later, when Paul writes his second letter to Timothy, and they're mentioned in about the same breath. In Timothy it says, for Demas, in love with this present world, has deserted me and gone to Thessalonica. Crescens has gone to Galatia, Titus to Dalmatia, and Luke alone is with me. So Demas went from being in the engine room of the early church and being someone who would send greetings to abandoning his faith. And running after the things of this world.
This reminds me of too many stories of friends from college who were with me in in crew. I, I, I did that in college. You know, lived with folks and was in deep fellowship with folks, and then now here we are, gosh, I'm old, like what, 12 years after school, and so many of them have fallen away and if when we catch up, it's like, oh yeah, I don't, I don't believe that anymore and you know their career is going great, but maybe they've gotten a divorce, I don't know. It's, it's hard to see people who like Demas have fallen away. And I think the, the importance here is to stay the course, to stay in community, to keep the main thing the main thing. Yes, the world has many flashy things. But Christ is so much more important than anything else in this whole world. All of these things that Demas was chasing will pass away. But Christ alone will remain.
And we see a positive example in Luke, that Luke remained steadfast to the end. Luke remained with Paul in prison. Luke remained with him when everyone else had left. And friends, I, I hope that that is what you want to be like, that you want to be a friend like Luke, who stays steadfast, who keeps the mission going, even when the chips are down and even when everyone else besides you has left.
Verse 15, give my greetings to the brothers at Laodicea and to Nympha and the church in her house. We don't know much else about Nympha, but Paul chose to honor her and highlight the importance of her hospitality and hosting that church in her home. Every week, she chose to clean up, to put her irregular objects inside flat objects and host people in her house. If you get that joke, thank you,. Today we have community group leaders who do the same thing, and as a CG leader myself, it can be a real challenge to continue to host people and to, to have people in, but it is, it is a blessing and if you're a CG leader here, thank you, and Nympha was worthy of honor and so too are you for, for hosting and carrying on the mission in that way.
Verse 16, and when this letter has been read among you, have it also read in the church of the Laodiceans, and see that you also read the letter from Laodicea. So we learned that these letters were meant to circulate, that these churches were in a network similar to our network here in, in the greater Boston area. And they were all learning and growing together. Though we don't directly know what was going on in Laodicea at the time, we do know that some 35 years later, at the time when John writes his revelation, that Laodicea is mentioned again, and Jesus has some of the most scathing things to say to Laodicea. Notably in chapter 3 of Revelation, it says, I know your works, you are neither cold nor hot. Would that you were either cold or hot, so because you are lukewarm and neither hot nor cold, I will spit you out of my mouth. For you say I am rich, I have prospered, and I need nothing, not realizing that you are wretched, pitiable, poor, blind, and naked.
Similar to Demas, unfortunately, they chose the things of the world. Laodicea was a very successful community. They, they trafficked in black wool and eye salve and some other things that were luxury goods at the time. So it's a very wealthy city. I can't think of any cities that are like that. But they let the love of that success and the love of all of the things that they were good at dominate them over the cause of Christ. And church, I, I desperately hope that we do not make that same choice as I know that we have those same temptations in the city. There's a lot of opportunity here. But we need to hold fast, not just for 5 years or for 35 years, but we need to hold fast to the end.
Speaking of holding fast, we have verse 17. Say to Archippus, see that you fulfilled the ministry that you've received in the Lord. Archippus receives this very direct and yet cryptic instruction, stay the course. The only other thing we know about him comes from Philemon, where Paul refers to him as a fellow soldier. Some scholars debate whether he was Philemon's son or whether he was the minister over the Colossian Colossian Church in Epaphras' stead. We don't know for sure what his status was, but we do know that he received this and that he needed to hear this, that he needed to keep going with the ministry that he'd been given. I don't know if any of you here have received something from the Lord that you need to continue in, but I think that this encouragement here was important for him and maybe important for you to remember that you need to continue doing whatever it is that the Lord's called you to.
Finally, verse 18, I, Paul, write this greeting with my own hands. Remember my chains, grace be with you. Finally, Paul takes the pen and says, remember my chains. Grace be with you. The cost of obedience. We've talked a lot about this staying the course thing and about what it cost others. It cost Paul everything. He was staying faithful and he was only receiving what was promised by Jesus in John, where Jesus says, I've said these things to you, that in me you have peace. In the world, you will have tribulation. But take heart, I have overcome the world. In the world you will have tribulation. You may have tribulation, you will have tribulation. There are many things, church, that are going to call you away from the gospel. There are many paths that are easier than staying the course. But I want to encourage you to follow Paul's example as he follows Christ.
Paul's literally in irons for the gospel. He can't leave his house. And we know that he'll eventually die there. But the messages that we are reading, we wouldn't have if it wasn't for those chains. If Paul had been able to go in person, I don't know that it would have been written down in the same way. And so we see that God worked through Paul's imprisonment to write most of this, of the New Testament that we have today because of those chains. Church faithfulness will cost you. But it is worth it, regardless of whether or not you get to see the payoff.
Paul thought that he was coming to them and finally when he says, prepare a room for me and in other passages, he's like, I'm gonna come to you next summer. He never made it there. Even though he wanted to. But he was faithful to the end.
So now, after we've concluded this main section here, I want to zoom in on this cost of grace, the cost of being faithful, and in particular what the, the cost is that Christ paid for us and what it looks like, as we zoom in on the characters of Onesimus and Mark. Because like I said, there's some very direct application points for the church that were relatively challenging. This is a good water intermission. All right. Charged up.
So with Onesimus, I think his presence in the room would have caused some audible gasps. We don't have all the detail about exactly what led to him leaving Colossae, but bonus sermon series time, we're gonna talk about Philemon a whole bunch today. We do know that it was not on good terms. Even the detail we have about his story is more than most of us know about each other, I'd wager, and I wanna highlight the radical vulnerability and transparency that Paul invites by documenting all of this for us so that the churches then knew it and the churches now know this stuff. So let's catch up a bit on his background. Do we have the Onesimus slide?
So he was a slave in Philemon's household. At some point prior to 60 AD he had seemingly run away from his master, causing substantial economic loss. Philemon 18 says, if Onesimus has wronged you at all, or owes you anything, charge that to my account. Think Jean Valjean from Les Miserables where he steals the candlesticks, or well, he steals the silverware, but then I don't think that Philemon wanted to give him the candlesticks in this situation and Paul's saying, well, I'll repay your candlesticks. Somehow on his journey, he meets Paul. Scholars are wildly divided over this, but he meets him and becomes a believer. Philemon 10 says, my child whose father he he became in his imprisonment. Now the name Onesimus means useful, and Paul says that formerly he was useful, useless to Philemon, but now only a few years later, is indeed useful to the both of them.
The letter to Philemon that we have today was read alongside this letter to the Colossians. And it was taking an issue that would have otherwise been private and making it something for the church to be informed about. The beautiful thing about this is that it's not done from a place of gossip, right? It's done to draw the believers together so they can understand what's going on and understand the example, that they have in Christ, and to also practice the plural communal imperatives that are communicated earlier in Colossians 3, the command, don't lie to one another, and again that declaration about the equality that we have in Christ. That call is towards radical equality. And after that, after those commands about there being no slave or free, is Onesimus, who was formerly a slave, confronting his master, whose church, who owns the house that the church is meeting in, so the, the room would have palpable tension.
I believe this is one of those situations where the story is prescriptive for us. We don't need to drag every issue that we have before the, the church at large, but where there are issues that we would be tempted to divide over. Where they could cause, you know, further issue in the church or where we're not able to resolve them, you know, directly, I do think that we are to lean on one another and to work together to resolve those conflicts and trust one another, to operate with compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience toward one another when these sensitive issues arise.
One of these ways where I've seen this done is through church discipline. As an elder here, I get a little bit more of an insight into some of the, the, the tougher things that go on behind the scenes at church. In the past year, one of our own members embraced a life of sin apart from Christ, and against our direction, removed himself from fellowship. Church, it was a very painful process. One that doesn't feel fully resolved and honestly, I, I don't know it will be apart from God's miraculous grace. But I do know that if he came back and embraced Christ and turned from his sins, we would forgive him and welcome him with open arms. Because that is the model that we've been given in Christ. We're called to be the same sort of forgiving community that they were. We're called to forgive over and over and over again, even the same offense.
The last thing I'll say about this is that. In, in that situation and in every other tough situation that I've gotten to be a part of. We didn't know how bad it was until things blew up. So I guess if, if you hear me on any point around this, it's to be honest, to be known, to share what's really going on with your brothers and sisters in Christ. We are here for each other. And we need to help one another forgive and move through these things and don't just let the tension build between you and someone else and then blow up and walk away. That's not the model that we have. We need to drag these things out into the light because Satan thrives in darkness. One of the cool things that we see in Onesimus or that we think we see in Onesimus, is that 40 years later, there's a letter written to the church in Ephesus, and it's written to Bishop Onesimus. And it's entirely plausible that he went from being a slave in Philemon's house to finding the Lord, to becoming a bishop four years later. And I, I think that that's incredible that formerly he was useless and then became so useful that he was even over the churches there.
And I think that all of this happens through the very normal work of forgiveness as practiced by the Colossian Church. And through that, God is able to do abundantly more than you could ever ask or think. In Onesimus, you have someone who was a slave to his master. He didn't have the right to do what he wanted. He's legally bound to obey Philemon as his property, and the punishment for running away was really whatever exotic torture, including death, that Philemon came up with. You could even be crucified for running away. And he was powerless. Onesimus was powerless to reverse his fate. And then we have Paul stepping in for him. As his advocate, pleading for him and also saying that he would pay his debt. What a beautiful picture of what Christ has done for us in facilitating forgiveness.
Friends, we have an advocate, just like Onesimus had. Who helps facilitate our forgiveness. If you say you believe Jesus is who he says he is. And don't forgive those who sin against you. Unfortunately, friends, you make yourself a hypocrite. This God that you claim to know, who's before all things and in whom all things hold together, and who created all things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities. All things have been created through him and for him. He could do all of that by his power. He created the entirety of existence with a word. But to forgive you, He had to die. He couldn't just say that you're forgiven. He had to come down and die. That is a miraculous gift. And that is his example towards us.
When you're wronged, you have a choice. Either do what your God has done and forgive, or do the opposite of goodness and attempt to exact a debt you will never receive from the one who has wronged you. Thereby showing that you don't understand what forgiveness is. No, I do wanna be a little bit gracious here. If, if you're sitting here and saying like, Michael, I'd like to forgive. But I just can't get there right now. That is not the same thing as refusing to forgive. The person in danger that I'm that I'm trying to warn against is the one who says, I see the forgiveness that I've been given. But I'm still gonna try to go for that debt anyway. I want to encourage you, wherever you're at in whatever your relational issues are, to stay stalwart in your commitment to forgive. Forgiveness is often a direction before it becomes a destination.
We'll talk a little bit more about the mechanics of forgiveness, but the idea of agreeing to forgive first is, I think, a really critical part in what God does for us. This, this idea of the unearned favor that we have, the, the idea of the riches that we've been given in forgiveness, reminds me a little bit of a situation that happened for me this year at work. A coworker of mine left and he had a huge deal in his name, that was I I work in sales and, basically what happened was after he'd worked on it for the last year, he left the company and my name was replaced in Salesforce from his. And that meant that I ended up getting almost my annual quota from work that I didn't really do. And the reason I share that is because I've never had an easier time spending that money on buying him something nice. It's not a common practice to like buy a gift for somebody who left the company, but that was the easiest time I've ever had, and it really changed my perspective on all the money that I have, even though I know empirically that everything I've been given is a gift from God, having, having something like that where I did nothing and got my annual bonus just really shifted the way that I feel about the, the money that I have and the generosity that I need to have with it.
I share that because in the same way, we have been given not just an annual bonus, but an eternity of riches in Christ. An eternity of forgiveness, a lifetime of being forgiven. And so too do we need to be generous with our forgiveness towards others. Now, Onesimus' isn't the only story of forgiveness in this passage. In him, we have the story of this, you know, slave who is rightfully dead, and then chooses life in Christ, and has this advocate who helps facilitate the payment of his debt and brings him into this elevated status.
Now we're going to move on to look at Mark, and here we have the story of a man who witnessed miracles from an early age, who's doing the work of the gospel, betrayed his fellow co-workers in the field, and almost caused the company to crack apart. So we're going to look through this a little bit further. Let's go back to verse 10. Aristarchus, my fellow prisoner, greets you, and Mark, the cousin of Barnabas, concerning whom you've received instructions. If he comes to you, welcome him. So this is also the very same Mark who wrote the Gospel of Mark some 5 to 10 years later. But what's with this parenthetical here? Concerning whom you've received instructions, if he comes to you, welcome him. We don't know what those instructions were, but let's look at the person, Mark, so we can understand a little bit more of his story.
Most of what we know about him comes from Acts. And the first we hear about him. is in chapter 12, where his house is hosting the church that Peter walks into after he was miracled out of prison. We don't know what happened in the last decade of Mark's life that led to this instruction to welcome him, but we know that, after that time frame, he went with Paul and Barnabas on their missionary journey, you know, witnessing to the areas in Asia Minor. And then we know at one point that he abandons the mission and deserts them. And then following that, they're deciding how they want to party up again and Barnabas wants to bring Mark along and Paul goes, no way, not with that guy. I don't trust him for squat, and Barnabas and Paul split up for the first time in their ministry together after doing ministry together for like 5 to 10 years at that point. Which is a pretty significant deal. People will often talk about who's your Paul, who's your Timothy, who's your Barnabas. Barnabas and Paul were like best friend co-workers, and they divided up over Mark. And that's the last time that we hear about Mark until this point in Colossians.
So over a decade later, we have instructions not just to tolerate him, but to welcome him. So something happened off camera between Paul and Mark to cause that reconciliation. We don't know exactly what it was, but I think that Colossians 3:13 is ample enough instruction for us. Bearing with one another, and if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other as the Lord has forgiven you. So you also must forgive. We also have the benefit of knowing that Mark was considered useful by Paul at the end of his life when he wrote his second letter to Timothy. And then like I said, went on to write Peter's account of the gospel that we have today. The thing that stands out to me here, is that we could have had a story like Demas where Mark was a help, and then falls off, and then we never hear from him again. But instead there's that reconciliation, that forgiveness that brings him back into the fold, and then he becomes someone that is useful who's written a gospel account that many of you have read.
Well, that's all great, Michael, but how does forgiveness happen? I think forgiveness is very hard, and we're gonna talk a little bit about some of the mechanics of it. I think it's one of the most beautiful things we have in our passage today. It's one of the, the, the, the pieces that we have the most information about, and it's the, the most challenging thing that the church in Colossae was presented with in these final instructions. So I think that's what we should zoom on, zoom in on.
So we have earlier in Colossians, we have verses or chapter 2, verses 13 through 14, and they talk through some of these mechanics. You who are dead in your trespasses in the uncircumcision of your flesh, God made alive together with him, having forgiven us all our trespasses by canceling the record of debt that stood against us with its legal demands. This he set aside, nailing it to the cross. Paul uses the word trespasses and or sins and record of debt as synonyms. When someone wrongs you or sins against you, there is always a debt incurred. If I borrow your car and drive it off a bridge, you're out of a car. If I make a coffee date with you and then show up an hour late, you're out an hour of your time. Regardless of the debt, to forgive means to take on the debt yourself and not invoke your right as the creditor to call your debtor to repay you.
And that is exactly what Jesus did for us on the cross. We've already talked about forgiveness with an isthmus, but we're going to move a little bit further into this practice. A lot of what we're going to talk about today comes from Tim Keller's book, Forgive, Why Should I and How Can I. And it's been very helpful to me. A couple of notes on what forgiveness is not, before we move into what it is. We can't make our forgiveness and the grace offered cheap. It can't just be something that is given as lip service. The healing for you as the victim won't be real or internal, and the accountability for the offender will not result. They won't have any accountability for their actions and they won't go through it. So we can't, we, we can't make the, the grace that we offer cheap. We also can't withhold our forgiveness. To ask the offender to repay you what they have stolen from you often requires them to repay you in a currency that's gone out of mint. You can't ask an angry or negligent parent to repay you a happy childhood. Those years are gone, and even if you have a happy relationship in your 20s and 30s, it won't erase those wounds.
Forgiving that debt is the internal work of deciding that you will not pursue what is owed to you. In the same way that manna rotted, if it was kept past its time, so too will you, that you owe me note rot in your pocket and turn into a tree of bitterness that will overtake you. I am, however, comforted by Romans 12:19-20 where it says, beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord. To the contrary, if your enemy is hungry, feed him. If he is thirsty, give him something to drink, for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.
There is a simplicity in forgiveness. Release the debt and then walk in love and wisdom towards the newly forgiven one. I hadn't really experienced a lot of this until years ago when I, I felt like I understood this a little bit better. There's a friend of mine who I'm going to call Ted who had agreed to work with me on a project. I knew he had a lot going on, so I gave him an out and said like, hey, you know, it would be cool to have you on this project, but if you have too much going on, I understand, and, and I wouldn't want it to be a burden for you, and he said, no, I wanna be in there. I'll do it. So as we met with the rest of the group, as time went on to work on this project, Ted would often not show up, or would show up late, or would show up unprepared. We had to present our work, at a certain time, and Ted still didn't show up as we as we had our, like our dress rehearsal sort of thing to go through the final bits, and at one point just said like, oh well, I have a, a rec league game that I'd rather go to.
I was pretty frustrated by that. And the day of, he showed up late again. Again for a similar excuse and even didn't remember all of his parts. So, I, I took a week. I was, I was pretty mad, but I'd, the Lord had done enough with me at that point to not just fire, you know, as a loose cannon immediately. So I was like, let me sit with this and see what happens. And I still wasn't resolved on it, and I was still frustrated and still felt like I was justifiably angry, so I went to him and I said, hey, man, what you really let me down there. Like, I asked you if you're gonna be on my team, and you said you would, and then you didn't show up. And he said, well, I could have communicated better. But didn't really get the, the part about saying you're gonna do something and then not doing it. So I left feeling still frustrated. I was like, OK, we got maybe a little bit done, but not enough.
So another week went by and I talked to a good friend of mine about the issue. And he said, you need to forgive him. I said, but how, I'm so mad about this, and I'm right, and he's like, doesn't matter, forgive him anyway. I said, OK. I'm committed to figuring out how to forgive him. I don't know how. But I'm committed to figuring it out. And that was at lunchtime. And then a few hours later, I ended up running into Ted after work. And I tell you that in those few hours later, God had worked in my heart. And I was able to wave at him and smile and greet him. And legitimately say like, hey, how are you? It's good to see you. Even though he had wronged me previously, and even though I'd been stewing about it for weeks. God had used my cognitive decision to forgive him and had done the rest of the work. To release it in my heart. Now in this situation, the main collateral damage. Really was just my pride. Right? I wanted to feel important. I wanted to be the person that, you know, someone chose to show up for. And to be more important than whatever rec sports league was going on. But God used it to teach me about forgiveness.
And thankfully he has a couple of little munchkins in my life who continue to use me or continue to teach me about forgiveness pretty much every day. And they continue to chip away at my pride, which God still needs to work on. But God loves me enough to, to let me experience these things. And friends, there, there are gonna be situations that are more complicated than this. Ones where there may, where the sin committed against you may have even legal ramifications. In those situations, the call that we have is still to forgive. To release the debt and not endeavor to make them repay us. And once you've forgiven them, walk towards them in love and wisdom.
What does that look like? I can't tell you for every situation. But I can tell you that those are your North Stars are OK. I've forgiven them. What does it look like to love them? What does it look like to be wise towards them? I believe that as you grow in your understanding of love and in in your understanding of wisdom, that how you deal with these things might change. I want to highlight for us the story of Rachel Den Hollander, who walked through this. She was the first woman who came out against Larry Nassar. He was a wicked man who was convicted of sexually assaulting over 150 girls. What he did was awful, and during his trial, this is what Rachel had to say.
There are 2 major purposes in our criminal justice system, Your Honor, the pursuit of justice and the protection of the innocent. Neither of these purposes can be met, if anything less than the maximum available sentence under the plea agreement is imposed upon Larry for his crimes. And then she addresses Larry later, and says the Bible you speak carries a final judgment where all of God's wrath and eternal terror is poured out on men like you. Should you ever reach the point of truly facing what you've done, the guilt will be crushing. And that is what makes the gospel of Christ so sweet, because it extends grace and hope and mercy where none should be found, and it will be there for you. I pray you experience the soul crushing weight of guilt. So you may someday experience true repentance and true forgiveness from God, which you need far more than forgiveness from me, though I extend that to you as well.
She's able to demand justice and forgive in the same breath. And this is consistent with what we are told to do in scripture. Romans 13 tells us that rulers are not a terror for good conduct, but bad. Would you have fear of the one who is in authority, then do what is good and you will receive approval, for he's God's servant for good. But if you do wrong, be afraid, for he does not bear the sword in vain. He's a servant of God, an adventurer who carries out God's wrath on the wrongdoer. There may not always be justice in this life, church. But when we get some semblance of it, that is a blessing.
Finally, church, I want to just conclude with my main point here, we must always forgive. We must always love. We must always endeavor to get wisdom and walk in it. And as we do these things, God is able to do immeasurably more than we could ever ask or think. In our lives to restore relationships. And to elevate us to new places. Whether it was 10 years ago, last week, or before you walked into this room. You are empowered by your creator through his example, through his forgiveness of you, to forgive those around you who've wronged you. This forgiveness that we have in Christ is something that we celebrate each week through the taking of communion.
On the night he was betrayed, Jesus took a loaf of bread and broke it, saying, This is my body broken for you. And he took the cup and said, This is my blood shed for you. Do this in remembrance of me. Each week we participate in the sacred meal to be reminded of Christ's sacrifice for us and presence with us. If you're not a believer here today, this is the one piece of our service that we'd ask you to not participate in. Instead, we'd invite you to consider receiving the forgiveness that Christ has given you, and then come back next week and receive this meal with us. As we prepare ourselves to take this communion meal, let's go to the Lord in prayer.
Father, thank you for your sacrifice. Thank you for sending your son to be slain for us so that justice could be satisfied and grace could be extended. That we might be able to call you father as part of your family. Lord, if there is any wicked way in us, we pray that You would help us, confess it to you, for you have told us that you are faithful to forgive us our sins and cleanse us of all unrighteousness. Through the payment that you received in Christ through the forgiveness that you've extended to us. God may that ring true in our hearts. May we see you in new ways. And may we walk in the abundance of forgiveness that we have. In Christ's name we pray, Amen.